It was a sad day for parents of the Little League team from Mercer Island, Washington, but not just because of the 10-2 loss.
"I couldn't believe my eyes. They cried like children.", said Suzanne Wannamaker, mother of 2B Todd, "Not even children, more like little bitch children."
Besides poor sportsmanship, the children displayed a level of short-sidedness that their parents clearly abhorred.
"I was watching Abraham from the stands, and couldn't help but think how meaningless the Little League really is.", said Wesley Feichenbaum, who took the week off from a construction job to become his loser son's hankie-holder.
"I'm personally disgusted by my son's lack of class", he added while wiping Pabst Blue Ribbon from his beard.
The Little League World Series is held in Williamsport, PA to showcase young baseball talent in one of the most All-American of pointless activities. Almost undeserving of such media attention, the LLWS still manages to get Sportscenter moved to ESPN2 to the chagrin of the rest of the country. ESPN executives expressed disappointment at this development.
"Call me old-fashioned", said Tony Kornheiser, co-host of Pardon The Interruption, "But when I was growing up, we only cried when news of our dead relatives came back from the German Front. And even then, I was beaten unmericfully for showing any emotion. This is why I'm glad I never let my seed out to infect the world."
The children could not be reached for comment, but parents assured us "they would get something to cry about later."
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