In an unprecedented historical moment, Iranian Mahmoud Achmadinejad announced that after years of negotiations, his country would agree to abide by all U.S. policies in exchange for Obama's first round pick in next year's NFL Draft.
"I am pleased as punch to announce this trade," said Achmadinejad through his personal midget translator, "As far as I'm concerned, the Iranian people really come out on top. We'll have the opportunity to draft a player to build our franchise around."
Speculation has already begun as to which direction the Iranians will go when draft day comes. The frontrunners are the two top college quarterbacks; Oklahoma's Sam Bradford and Florida's Tim Tebow. Achmadinejad was very tight-lipped about his preference, stating that his main concern is that his pick be "clearly and truly non-homosexual", which most analysts believe drops Tebow out of the running.
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