I never thought my life would feel so...inadequate...until I saw the abundance of knives and other stabbing weapons which I don't currently own. I don't have a mantle, but goddamn if I'm not considering making one. Where else would I display my limited edition full tang, stainless steel, deer stag bone-handled Dale Earnhardt memorial edition cockslicer with matching commemorative leather sheath on the included display stand???
I'm glued to this show for 2 hours at a clip, at minimum. Here's a few favorites from the other night:
-A gold (not real gold) plated western revolver, with flip-out knife blade. You're thinking, "Does the trigger cause the knife to shoot out?" Don't ask stupid questions, fucknut.
- A horrendously oversized dragon pendant. This confused me for a moment, as there was no obvious knife. But knife guy removed the end of the wings and the tail to reveal 3 undersized and useless knives. Brilliant.
-100 knives for $ 100. This seems to be standard for the Knife Show (one of these sets was featured on consecutive nights), but think of the possibilities of having 100 knives! I'd donate most of them to charity. No child should grow up knifeless.
-The commemorative "Trail of Tears" knife set. Some people say, "Trail of Tears"; I like to think of it as "The First Parade".
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Through my very minimal brainstorming sessions, I find that America is my number one topic of interest. Sometimes we produce awful abominations, like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, Biggest Loser, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, CSI, Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, The Olympics, Mad Money, Golden Girls, Lost, Entourage, Grey's Anatomy....
But then, out of no where, we get hit in the face with bricks from the heavens, and we get to order knives by phone. I can picture a bald eagle crying tears of reverence in front of a tank on a flag background.....emblazoned on a commemorative knife set.
This is probably one of the more amazing things I've seen.
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